Unfortunately, somewhere between Spring/ Summer and Resort Wear, someone dreamed up Coachella fashion. I need to clarify two things before I start my rant. So here goes.
Coachella is a music festival that takes place in California far far away. You would think this would not make any difference to my life in London, your life in India or even somewhere in US (unless of course you live next to the festival area, then we will pray for you). But to my shock when I went shopping last week, I was confused about whether I was going to Coachella this year. Fortunately, I was not. But unfortunately, every store wanted to send me there.
Sorry so I am getting ahead in my rant. And let me correct myself, Coachella was a music festival. Somewhere along the way, fashion people (read models, pop stars, assorted Kardashians etc.) discovered this and decided its a great place to wear crochet and inappropriate head gear. This brings me to Coachella fashion. Coachella is the place where no normal rules of fashion and decency apply. I am all for fashion being crazy and fun but you cannot be tacky. You (think you) can wear Native headgear made of plastic feathers sold on Amazon without knowing a single fact about the Native tribes and people and what it signifies. You (think you) can wear mehendi without knowing anything about it (I mean I have!). You (think you) can wear fake tribal tattoos that look gibberish to you. Well, you cannot. So if you are interested in fashion, you will be interested in avoiding Coachella fashion. Heres how you can manage that.
1. Stay away from H&M, Forever 21 and other teen stores for the time being.
I was about to walk into the H&M on Cheapside till I saw their window. I made a detour and walked into the nearby Banana Republic instead where I found trousers which fit me. Therefore proving that avoiding Coachella fashion is always a good idea.
2. Avoid the three Fs – fringe, fur and feathers.
Fringe – least dangerous of the three Fs. Wear it sparingly and wear it well. On unexpected items, it looks great. Do not wear combined with suede. The gods of cliche will cry.
Fur – if you are wearing (faux) fur in California, you need a reality check. I am not even going to bother commenting about real fur wearers.
Feathers – I don’t want to be judgemental about this but I have to. There is no good, correct or appropriate reason to wear feather and there is no good, correct or appropriate way to wear feathers. The former leading to the latter. If this was unclear – do not wear feather if not a bird.
3. Avoid any friends going to Coachella.
In fact I would suggest you stop being friends with these people. If you can’t the least you could do is atleast not be friends with them till Coachella is over and avoid them for a month afterwards. Trust me – you will regret any other contact.
So now I feel I have provided you with the basics on how to stay sane and avoid Coachella fashion. If you have more tips, I would love to hear them. If you love Coachella fashion, I would love to hear from you. Make your case!