5 of London’s Worst Tourist Attractions to Spend Your Money On

London is the only city where I have lived in as well as visited as a tourist. I used to visit London quite often when I lived in Bombay to visit DJ. I was the best, most efficient, most annoying tourist ever! I wanted to do everything, go everywhere, see everything. Now I am pretty sure most people do not have the luxury or time or inclination to do all of the London tourist attractions that so lets go through the list of the rubbish tourist attractions in London. I tried Googling to see what came up but except this Telegraph article which doesn’t actually address tourist attraction directly I didn’t find anything useful so thought its time I got my own list going.

Ok, now I know this sounds harsh. Please don’t get mad at me if one of your favourite spots is on this list. I have tried to explain why a particular attraction made the cut so hopefully you will be able to see where I am coming from. And to ensure there is a positive note to this post I have made alternative suggestions on where to go instead. I have also included how much money you would save skipping that attraction and going to my chosen attraction instead!

1. Madame Tussauds

I remember viisting Madame Tussauds as a teenager and sure it was fun. But it also didn’t include the insanely long lines and exhorbitant ticket prices like it does now. What astounds me that people choose to visit London and spend almost a whole day in Madame Tussauds – first queuing for hours and then inside, even when there are Madame Tussauds in almost every continent in the world! Every time I go past the queues lined up outside I shudder.

Instead go to any one of London’s amazing museums most of which are free to enter. Of course I recommend the Victoria and Albert Museum where you can check out beautiful statuses, not made of wax but marble.

Save £27

2. View From the Shard

London has great views but no way anything is worth paying £32 just to go up a elevator! This attraction really boils my blood. This should be a definite skip. Agreed its way high up but you actually cannot see anything that high up. Instead just line up and go to the bar in the Aqua Shard or any of the other restaurants and bars in the building, have a beer for less than £10 while watching the sunset. Aqua Shard is on the 31st floor so you can actually see St Paul’s and other lovely sights. If you want to go higher up try some of the other bars and restaurant but skip the viewing gallery which makes you pay for nothing.

Save £32

3. Monument

The Monument is a well, a monument (no creativity there) to the great fire of London – which looks best from outside. Whatever you see of the monument standing on London Bridge is the best part of it – I assure you. I remember going to the Monument when I had the London Pass. Let me tell you this is the full complete experience:

1. You go in
2. You climb up a zillion stairs
3. You try and battle other tourists to see over the parapet once you reach the top
4. You realise the view is the same as you would see from almost anywhere else (check point 2 above)
5. You walk down the same zillion stairs
6. You get handed a certificate which tell you you were stupid enough to pay and walk up and down a zillion musty stairs
7. Five years later you write mean things about the Monument

Instead go to the Sky Garden if a view is what you want. And guess what? Its free!

Save £4.50

4. London Dungeons

I live quite close to the London Dungeons so this may have coloured my perspective a bit. I am going to put it out there – their marketing technique really annoys the hell out of me! They always have bizarrely and creepily clad people with fake blood over them walking around London Bridge scaring the well out of you. I do not appreciate this.

Instead go to the Tower of London and listen to actual history and gruesome stories if that’s your thrill. Or even catch one of the Jack the Ripper tours in Whitechapel. When there is so much of real historical value to see in London, made up attractions just don’t cut it.

Save £21

5. London Eye

The London Eye is per se a lovely attraction – its a lovely view. But again, there are lovelier views elsewhere in London (see 3 above) which do not require lining up for 2-3 hours and spending £27. Like Madame Tussaud’s this is one London attraction which I just don’t understand.

Instead spring for a meal at Sushi Samba with the cool elevator whizzing you up to the restaurant on the 39th floor.

Ok – I am now open to complaints! If you favourite attraction  made this list, tell me why it should be off the list. And if you have an attractions you belive deserves to be on this list I am open to being swayed! Let us know in the comments  on Twitter, Facebook and of course, Instagram. Thank you for reading.

– Anisha